In the bleak midwinter
by Pemonynen
Summary: Christmas Day is approaching and Flora thinks a concert might cheer everyone up, while Kitty and Tom spend their first Christmas together, and it's not as bad as everyone thinks it might be. No spoilers for anything. Just some Christmas fluff!


_Some Christmas fluff because I felt inspired to write and it just so happened to be for these two._

_Dedicated to my dear friends whatifthisstormends and misskittytrevelyan, who always support me and who miss the show as much as I do._

_Hope you all had a lovely Christmas, and if you don't celebrate Christmas, I hope you're just generally having a good week!_

_Enjoy!_

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><p>Rosalie appeared in the doorway, almost breathless as she finally found who she was looking for.<p>

"Has Flora got to you yet?"

Kitty looked up from the shelf of bandages she was sorting, brow furrowed, "What on earth do you mean?"

"She's on a mission. The words Christmas concert were mentioned. Just thought I should warn you anyway. She'll want us to sing again."

"Oh lord," she replied, but with a smile. "Thank you. Anyway, best get on." Rosalie smiled and left, leaving Kitty to the bandages, only to be disturbed a moment later by someone else.

"If it's about the concert, Rosalie has already told me..." Kitty turned to face the new visitor, unable to stop herself from grinning at the person before her. "Well hello there, Captain. I was told that we wouldn't be expecting you just yet."

Tom smiled, removed his hat and started to unfasten his greatcoat. "I managed to get an earlier boat back. I didn't really want to spend Christmas at the station. Are we alone?"

Kitty nodded as he stepped forwards, hands reaching for her, heads tilting in readiness to-

"Oh! Captain Gillan! Hello! And Kitty! Just who I was looking for, although I suppose Rosalie has already told you, but we're having a Christmas concert tomorrow because I rather think we must and they're going to try and whip up some mince pies, although I doubt they'll be as nice as cook's, but anyway I thought we might sing some carols and make it a jolly nice time. Will you sing Kitty? Please?" Flora looked so earnest that Kitty couldn't help but smile. It had been several months now and they had all changed and been changed a great deal, but Flora still stubbornly held on to the innocent determination she'd had when they first arrived and Kitty admired her for it.

"Of course I will. Captain, will you be joining in?"

"Aye, I might. I'll ask Miles if he'll be joining too. Anyway, excuse me, I must go and speak with Colonel Brett." He nodded and glanced at Kitty before leaving.

"Was I interrupting something?"

"Not at all. The Captain was just checking that everything was in order," Kitty smiled, ignoring the fluttering in her chest at the thought of the captain. Of her captain. She'd try and speak to him privately later on. It had been almost three weeks since he'd left and now he was back and she had missed him, more than she thought she would.

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><p>"Tom! I didn't know you'd be back today," Miles smiled and shook his friend's hand as he entered the tent, stamping his feet against the cold.<p>

"I managed to get onto an earlier boat."

"Well it's good to have you back. It's been too quiet around here, and too cheerful. I need you around to say 'bah humbug' and make sure I maintain a sense of melancholy," he grinned and sank into his chair, watching as Tom started to unpack. "How was the old homestead anyway?"

"Bah humbug. Cold. Good to see them though. And London wasn't bad either." Tom carried on unpacking, ignoring any sort of reaction his friend might have had to that piece of information.

"Have you seen Miss Trevelyan yet?"

"Yes, before I went to see Brett." Tom closed his bag and stowed it back under his bed, smiling briefly at Miles. "Come on, duty still calls."

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><p>The rest of the day was a flurry of activity as Flora raced around trying to get everything organised, helped by some of the more able soldiers. They'd managed to get the mince pies made and she had even managed to persuade the colonel and matron to allow them all a small glass of mulled wine...or as close to it as they could manage. She had even managed to rope in more volunteers for the singing. By the end of the day, she was almost ready to drop. She entered the tent and sank onto her cot, watching as Kitty brushed out Rosalie's hair.<p>

"I think it's going to be wonderful, don't you?"

"I can think of better ways to spend Christmas, but I suppose we're doing the best we can. It's not about us anyway is it. It's for the men."

They stayed in contemplative silence for a moment, then finished getting ready for bed and blew out the candle.

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><p>Christmas morning brought with it a fresh snowfall and a pleasant walk down to the makeshift chapel. The ground crunched underfoot and the low orange sun shone brightly, making everything look more magical than it felt. Tom held back for a moment and waited for Kitty, smiling at the gentle flush in her cheeks, brought on by the cold crisp air.<p>

"Merry Christmas, Miss Trevelyan."

"And to you, Tom," they shared a smile then. The previous day had been too busy for them to spend any more time together beyond seeing each other in passing.

"Can I see you later, after the concert I mean?" His voice was low and quiet but the deep Scottish brogue thrummed through her, familiar and comforting.

"I thought you'd never ask. The usual place?" They paused briefly, letting some of the other soldiers and nurses pass them, waiting until they were behind everyone else. He looked ahead and reached for her hand, gloved fingers gently squeezing round hers, unable to hear the crunching of their boots in the snow over the pounding of their hearts.

"Yes." He saw her nod out of the corner of his eye and released her hand. They had managed so far without being caught but they knew they were risking it with the small glances and gentle touches they allowed themselves when they couldn't sneak off and spend some time together. Miles knew, having given them the use of his hotel room in town on a few occasions, and Flora and Rosalie had found out, and they suspected that Colonel Brett and Matron Carter knew but they hadn't said anything more than just warnings to be careful and not to make spectacles of themselves.

The day passed and everyone was in good spirits, and they could almost - almost - forget that the frontline was only a few miles away and that some of the men they were looking after would be unlikely to see the next Christmas. The cooks had managed to rustle up a nicer lunch than usual for everyone, with ham and potatoes, although they wouldn't say where they'd got them from.

It was like they existed in their own little bubble for the day. There were no emergencies, no major incidents, no bad news. It was almost ordinary.

Tom watched Kitty from afar and it reminded him of how they'd been when she first arrived there, all of those months ago, unable to do anything about his feelings, but now... He smiled to himself and made a quick detour to his own tent, where he double checked the small wrapped parcel that was hidden inside his bag. He heard rustling behind him and slipped it into his pocket.

"There you are. They're ready to start," Miles waited while Tom straightened and nodded at him before they headed back to the space Flora had arranged for the concert. They walked in just at the end of 'Silent Night' and stood at the back, clapping and cheering loudly as Flora, Rosalie and Kitty took to the stage. Both Tom and Kitty were hit with the force of their memories from the last concert, before they'd spoken properly, when things were awkward and tense and they didn't know how to be around each other.

_"In the bleak mid-winter frosty wind made moan, Earth stood hard as iron, water like a stone; snow had fallen, snow on snow, snow on snow, in the bleak mid-winter long ago..."_

The three women started confidently and were soon joined by every other voice in the tent. Pride surged in Tom's chest at the sight and sound of all of the soldiers singing together, still holding on to some sort of faith that things were going to get better. That they had to get better.

Kitty looked out across the faces of everyone in the tent. Last Christmas she wouldn't even have dreamt that she would be here, in a field in France, with the clean purity of snow covering the death and destruction that filled their day to day lives. She caught the matron's eye straightened, letting the music wash over her, thinking of everything and nothing, and most especially Sylvie. The first Christmas she would be without her. It ached, right down to her very soul.

_"Angels and archangels may have gathered there, cherubim and seraphim thronged the air - but only his mother in her maiden bliss worshipped the beloved with a kiss..."_

Tom met Kitty's gaze as they both looked round and he offered her a small smile, knowing that soon he would get to speak to her properly. His heart thudded at the thought of seeing her alone and he vaguely wondered if they would both be able to get an afternoon off together again soon and go into town.

_"What can I give Him, poor as I am? If I were a shepherd I would bring a lamb; if I were a wise man I would do my part; yet what I can, I give Him - give my heart."_

The applause rang through the tent and Flora, Rosalie and Kitty all bowed before leaving the stage area. When Kitty looked up, Tom had already left. She pulled her coat tighter round her and headed off in the direction of the woods, knowing that she wouldn't be followed and they wouldn't be missed for a while.

The snapping of twigs startled Tom from his perch against the tree and he couldn't stop himself from grinning as Kitty approached. They rushed towards each other, hands clasping desperately as their lips met in a soft kiss, the first since he had returned. Tom wrapped his arms round her waist and pulled his coat around them, trying to keep warm in the frozen air. Kitty slid her hands inside his jacket, clutching at his shirt and tie and kissing him back with fervour until they were both breathless, the air around them still and quiet. If they listened very carefully, they could just about hear the music and singing from the concert.

"Merry Christmas," he murmured, unable to resist kissing her again. They pulled apart and smiled, foreheads resting against each other. "I got you something." He pulled away properly then and Kitty shivered at the sudden loss of heat, watching him curiously in the dimming light of dusk. He pulled out the small parcel and handed it to her.

"It's not much I'm afraid, but I saw it in London. After I'd taken the present for Sylvie. I left it with the housekeeper. She seemed nice. She said she'd pass it on anyway."

Kitty's eyes filled with inexplicable tears at that. She missed her daughter so much, and she should be there with her at Christmas. Tom leaned in and kissed her cheek, holding her for a moment while she composed herself.

"Thank you for that. I am grateful. As for this, you shouldn't have. I didn't get you anything."

"It's nothing, really, but I saw it..." He trailed off, unsure of what else he could say. They stared at each other for a long moment. It had been several months now and there was the great unspoken thing between them, they both knew it, the both felt it but neither of them had the courage to say it, not while they were there, and those precious afternoons they'd shared had been lost to kisses and affection, with no room or time for words. Kitty nodded then and pulled off the ribbon and paper, revealing a small box. Inside was a simple silver necklace with a small pearl pendant. She gasped and met his bright gaze once more.

"Thank you Tom, it's beautiful," she closed the box and put it in her pocket, leaning in to kiss him again. She felt him smile against her and pressed in closer. They might only have a few more minutes, but she was determined to cherish every single second she could spend with him. He pulled her into his arms and his coat again, tilting his head to deepen the kiss, smiling as Kitty softly hummed in pleasure and moulded herself to him. They kissed and kissed and the sun went down, and the snow started to fall again, the flakes landing on their eyelashes and coats, blanketing the world once more.

And as they broke apart and smiled at each other again, and made their way (slowly) back to the camp, hand in hand, they both thought that perhaps Christmas hadn't been too bad after all.

_**Fin.**_

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><p><em>The title comes from the Christina Rossetti poem of the same name which has since been turned into a carol and was used in the 2010 Christmas Special of Doctor Who and is sang at the Kings College carol service that is broadcast at Christmas.<em>

_Thank you for reading! Any feedback is always gratefully received._


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